With the imminent birth of Planet Inline Gold Coast, it was time for the mighty Planet publicity machine to swing into action. Of course, a new venture needs a carefully crafted marketing campaign, tuned to the specific needs of the intended audience and ruthlessly executed with surgical precision to illicit maximum exposure. Alternatively, you could just get a bunch of smiley people to skate around the Gold Coast in slogan covered tee shirts surreptitiously handing out business cards with the added incentive of free fish and chips driving them on.

With a plan devised, operation “Happy Skate” swung into action.

Phase One: Locate the rendezvous point.

ANZAC park looked relatively easy to locate on the map so an hour and a bit should be plenty of time I thought. With the forecast predicting rain, the sky looked remarkably blue and cloud free first thing on Sunday morning, so blue in fact I rather rashly went for a shorts, tee shirt combination. Having learnt my lesson on the last Valley Yum tour, I also packed long trousers and a fleece with my skates, just in case.

ANZAC park was indeed easy to locate. So easy in fact that I arrived with nearly half an hour to spare. I thought I was the first one there and stuck my car on the end of a long row of parking spaces. Within ten seconds, Carl’s car appeared along side mine and he and Suzy emerged into the crisp morning air at the same time as I did. As they explained that they had been parked further up the car park but moved when they saw my car, it suddenly became apparent that despite the clear blue sky and bright winter sunshine, it was rather chilly to say the least, not helped by a cold wind. The idea of getting back in the car, turning the seat warmers on and cranking up the heater seemed eminently sensibly, but so did a quick change of attire in a slightly more layered ensemble. One quick change later and the world didn’t seem quite so cold. Suzy, having a similar idea had now all but disappeared under a small mountain of clothes with just the tiniest of slits in her hood allowing her to see where she was going.

As the clock ticked by more people began to arrive until, with minutes to spare, Vaughan pulled up with Monte and Jo in tow.

Phase Two: Free Tee Shirts are gr8 m8.

Monte, adorned by a modern interpretation of the classic French beret (enough said), produced a large bag of newly minted Planet Inline tee shirts from the back of Vaughan’s car. As they were eagerly accepted by the massed throng of skaters, it was quickly apparent that they were being worn over the considerable number of layers most people were already sporting. The extra protection afforded by another layer was very welcome for most people, although it was generally agreed that the individual slogans on the front of each shirt were most amusing. My personal favourites were ‘If I can Sk8 so can you’ and ‘I sk8 therefore I am’ (very exis8ential).

Phase Three: It’s hip to be square.

With tee shirts distributed, it was time to get the skating portion of the operation under way. The briefing outlined the objectives of the day, namely to raise awareness of skating on the Gold Coast, to be seen in and around the local area, to interact with as many people as possible and if any one enquired, to hand out business cards and let them know about the upcoming free braking lessons. The skate about was going to be conducted by Monte, with the assistance of Michelle (Planet’s Gold Coast representative), Lyndal, Vaughan, Dave and Jo.

Our first objective was to try out ANZAC square, a large flat patch of tarmac just across from the car park. This is going to be the teaching spot for future Gold Coast lessons, the Domain equivalent in Surfers if you like. Apart from the odd stone or two which could quickly be swept away, it is pretty much a perfect spot. Unlike the Domain, there is no through traffic which will make things considerably easier, on top of which there is a lot of space to spread out into. With an ocean backdrop and a good distance between the square and the main road it will make an ideal location for skate lessons.

Phase Four: I spit on your skates.

After a few rounds of the square, it was time to interact with the public. Donning our best smiles and unzipping our fleeces far enough to reveal the slogans on our tee shirts, we headed out to the spit. Initial public interaction was rather limited by the total lack of a public. This was mainly due to the fact that the preferred method of getting to the spit is by car. Unfazed by this minor drawback, we quickly covered the ground to the footpath that leads out to the lighthouse at the end of the path. Here we came face to face with the ‘great unwashed’ and so began the interactive element of our mission. It’s odd, but an unsolicited ‘Hello’, no matter how friendly, takes most people by complete surprise. As a general rule, the younger or older the recipient of the cheerful greeting the more enthusiastic the response. Young children have no preconceived notions of embarrassing self consciousness and old people just don’t care any more. For nearly everyone else in-between, an unexpected cheery hello is met with anything from an evasive grunt to a downright hostile look of ‘get away from me you eight wheeled freak’. Undaunted, we continued on to the end of the path, Xara and Mel even managing to hand out cards to a couple of slightly less evasive people.

Propelled by a strong trailing wind, we soon found ourselves gathered at the end of the path. Before turning back, Dave decided that the large, jagged, uneven rocks forming a break water for the lighthouse would make an excellent climbing frame and initiated a spot of roller rock climbing. While the climb to the top of the largest rock was relatively easy (for Dave), the realisation that he now needed to get down suddenly struck him. This required slightly more effort than the climb to the top and left the observers collectively holding their breath. Using a combination of skate park training, dexterity and crawling on his hands and knees, disaster was averted and Dave made it back to flat ground. With the show over, we turned into the wind and made our way back along the path.

Phase Five: Welcome to Paradise.

While unsolicited face-to-face conversation with most members of the public is likely to result in a fight (or at the very least a harsh look), once they are in the safe confines of their car, the reticence to communicate suddenly and magically vanishes. Maybe it is the familiar surroundings or maybe it is the fact that they are safe in the knowledge that a quick getaway is now possible thus alleviating any further embarrassing interaction, but whatever the reason, we were now being ‘honked’ at and waved to by a large number of the people who moments earlier would have quite happily pushed us into the sea to avoid saying ‘hello’ back.

As the familiar high rise towers of Surfers loomed into view, the number of people on the main street began to increase and the cheery ‘hellos’ now mutated into ‘excuse me’ and ‘passing on your right / left’, (delete as appropriate). Xara and Mel were now both in frenzied  overdrive, competing to see who could hand out the largest number of cards in the shortest possible time. For everyone else, the thought of food was now high on the agenda.

Phase Six: In Paradise, everything is twice as nice (and twice as expensive).

As we reached the centre of Surfers, Monte declared that it was time for the fish and chip experience that was going to fuel the whole operation. Passing Monty’s Café (spelt wrong, no good), we decamped at Seafood on the Beach. After a minor bout of furniture rearranging, we all sat down and Monte conducted a fish / calamari / potato fritters / scallops poll to determine the required portions of a mass order. A few minutes later and the proprietor of the establishment staggered out brandishing a large platter of assorted seafood shaped objects coated in a layer of crispy batter. This was quickly followed by a large tray of chips. As we were preparing to tuck into these deep fried delicacies, Andy volunteered to venture inside and buy drinks. He emerged moments later clutching a handful of Power Aid bottles and a rather alarmed look on his ashen face. Rechecking his change and performing a series of complicated mathematical analyses he concluded that he had just purchased the world’s most expensive sugary water. Power Aid it would seem is the new gold!

Phase Seven: Home James and don’t spare the horses.

With the last of the fish and chips sitting limply on the platter, everyone looked suitable replete. As we made our way back across the road in dribs and drabs, we eventually all congregated under the main Surfers Paradise sign. The skate back to the car park was broken only by a quick stop off at the G.C.C.C. Junior Bike Track where a quick lap of the mini obstacle course caused a few raised eyebrows from the parents who were patiently helping their two year olds negotiate the track on their pink tricycles.

Back at the car park and most people called it a day, however one final excursion was open to anyone who wanted to sample the delights of the Gold Coast Skate Biz. A quick skate through the underpass to get to the other side of the main road, a minor reinterpretation of the local signage to get to Skate Biz’s front door and we were on the rather skate unfriendly carpet of the shop. After a brief exchange of pleasantries and a quick purchase by Vaughan, we turned back and once more made our way over to the car park.

Skates off, thank yous all round and we were on our way after an enjoyable, smiley days sk8ing.