With a lot of skaters sampling the delights of Melbourne and a few more put off by the words intermediate, the turn out for Burnt Orange was, shall we say, exclusive. At twenty six minutes past three, Terry was sat on his own on the south side of the Goodwill Bridge looking at his watch and wondering if Queensland had secretly adopted daylight savings time. Within a few minutes a grand total of four skaters had turned up along with Michelle, who was leading the tour, Lyndal, Pat and Amber who were assisting. We were set for some one on one marshalling as Michelle explained we would be skating at an intermediate pace with a gentle start to get us all warmed up.

After the (brief) introductions we headed out to the Roma Street Parklands to hook up with the nice smooth bike paths linked together with equally smooth back roads which lead over to St. Johns Wood.

Last week someone asked why the tour was called Burnt Orange, the answer was very simple, the tour heads out to Ash Grove. Burnt – Ash, Orange – Grove (Monte humour, don’t laugh it just encourages him). The description of the tour on the Planet web site describes the skate as (and I quote) “practically hill-less”. To put that description into context the skate was practically hill-less in the same way the Himalayas are “a bit bumpy”. A couple of times it seemed that the sensible thing to do would be set up base camp and send the Sherpas on ahead!

The tour was passing reasonably incident free when we were heading down one of the fairly busy bike paths. Taking care to be good path citizens we were duly slowing down for pedestrians, calling out bike warnings and generally being very well behaved. At this point a small boy took it on himself to join the path police (junior division) and duly stepped out in front of me, palm outstretched and with all the authority his little voice could muster shouted out “STOP”. I looked down into his angelic little face and saw a steely determination in his eyes that spelt out “no one shall pass” just as I ran over him. To be fair, I didn’t actually run over him. A combination of a deft swerving manoeuvre and a gentle scooping action avoided any serious contact between skate and small child but it did lead to a few minor heart palpitations (on both sides I would guess). If anyone is having trouble with their slalom technique and finding that they are knocking too many cups over, might I suggest using small children instead, it really focuses the mind.

We arrived at our destination in remarkably good time a full hour ahead of schedule. Although the original plan had been to have dinner before heading back to Southbank, a quick poll while waiting for the traffic lights at the last crossing, got a unanimous vote for heading straight back. Although the idea of skating back was briefly mentioned, the steepness of the hills was very much in everyone’s mind. We headed over to a service station for drinks but found it was closed so instead decamped on the forecourt.

A maxi-taxi was called and we were told it would be with us in a few minutes. At this point Pat had to leave as he had a hockey final to attend and he gave Amber a lift home. That left the six of us waiting patiently for the taxi. Sure enough, a few minutes later an empty maxi taxi sailed past us showing no signs of stopping. We looked at each other expectantly assuming he would be turning round to pick us up on the way back. Seconds later we saw him sail past in the opposite direction and disappear into the distance. Once it was decided he definitely wasn’t coming back the taxi company was recalled and we were told we needed to wait round the corner (even though there was no where to stop). We dutifully obliged and trudged round the corner skates and pads in hand. Ten minutes later we were packed into the taxi and enjoying(?) a roller coaster ride back to the city.

Dinner was provided by Noodle Obsession and apart from a slight mix up in the difference between VB and light beer was very good. Fed and watered, we headed back to the Goodwill bridge before splitting up and heading off in our separate ways. All in all, an excellent afternoons Sk8ing.